Among those 3 are: in no particular order- communication, comprehensive understanding, patience, listening skills, actually hearing what is said, actions, follow through, respect and this thing called love.
All ideas and perspectives that vary person to person based on a host of things inwhich the person identifies with. The definitions of most of these words would be similar, but how the word is carried out will be vastly different.
Why do i speak of such a topic? Well I attended a wedding over the weekend and while watching the people sitting- observing the young couple make promises and commit to one another I made two observations- those who truly believe in what marriage should stand for, and those who do not.
One might ask where my views are- and with that I'll wait to the end.
Back to my observations- there were those who sobbed, those who were teary eyed and those who were "somewhere else".
The sobbers were the romantics caught up in the love, joy and beauty of the moment- happy for the young couple. Most- were older single women. Could it be they reflected upon what "once was" or " what they hoped for" in the moment? Its hard to say. It could have been the opposite.
Next - those who seemed to be somewhere else, or there out of obligation- inconvenienced by the sappy entanglement. Dazed, and distant they stayed until when they could dash out the door. Of course, those were men with the teary eyed women.
Those women, I had to wonder- i couldn't tell if I was feeling more of their anger and resentment or just utter sadness from the "lack of" in their current relationship. I'd say it was all of the above.
Among all the people - roughly 100, I saw one couple actually look at eachother during the ceremony as if to be reliving their own. ONE couple. How sad is that? Later that couple would be seen publicly showing their affection for one another at the reception and dance. That! That! was fascinating to see. In my opinion, that is what love and commitment is. First renewing your commitment to eachother at the opportunity of an invitation to anothers, second again reliving the memory of their day when it was their receptions, their first dance, their day of happiness and joy with friends and family and feeling that love in that moment with no regard but to express it with a gentle touch, a kiss, a squeeze of a hand, a whisper in her ear. And that look at eachother of love.
Precious.
I can only hope the bride and groom can make a life for themselves as the couple has. They've been married for over 40 years.
So where do I sit in it all? Hopeless romantic that I am- well, I don't believe in the stereotypical- societal normed wedding and prenuptial.
I don't believe a legal piece of paper can keep a relationship sacred.
I don't believe in promises, or bunch of words to explain someone's version of what they'll do to commit to their version of what honesty, love, loyalty, trust and respect are.
What I do believe is action, and follow through.
See- one can say anything to make another think or believe something might be so- but the real truth falls in what is or is not done. Its the action or follow through of every word, every thought in its deed that is the proof of who that person really is. Do I need a piece of paper to prove commitment, honesty, loyalty, respect and so on and on and on..no. Piece of paper is just that. It takes a real authentic human being to make that paper mean something. Same for this ring thing around a finger. Ring is but a piece of metal. It means nothing unless the person who puts it upon the finger actually does what is so to say promised. Mind you in the presence of a God and witnesses. A promise broken just makes you a liar and an idiot just after the fact- for all those to see at a later time. Spare them the inconvenience and the act- please. Save yourself a shit ton of money on dresses, suits and ridiculous decorations that are pointless and food for gluttony for what but to be a joke later because you can't keep a promise... LOL.
And then I realize why there are those single older women, the teary eyed, and the distant.
Reality. Its simply reality. Or perhaps denial of whats REAL.
Which is for you? Are you in reality? Living realistically? AUTHENTIC? Or are you in denial? Living a hopeless lie? Mondane existence just klinging to a false reality hoping for change? Always wondering, questioning, over thinking, teary eyed...
Only you can answer that question.
I've been all of those women.
Today- not one tear.
Only a cheer for the happy couple.
My chip sailed on to other seas of toxic water filled with smells of dead and dying fish in the delusion of fresh water. LOL. Happy sailing sailor.