What are you waiting for?
The sense of peace, freedom, relief that comes from no longer fearing the truth, from no longer running from lies, remembering lies, keeping stories straight - the burden that is lifted when you can look another person in the face and say - "I am sorry I had to lie to you for all those years - because I had to protect his image" - "but I'm not lying for him anymore".. when all that weight is lifted its truly magic.
At first it was difficult to apologize to people for lying for him for so many years. Especially the people who "knew but didn't wanna know". To be able to look those people in the face and say - "yeah I was with dude for five years, yup I lied to you along with everyone else to try hide it for his sake..I'm sorry I did what I did out of love at the moment, I know differently now."
To hear the comments - "you were dumb to think that was real" or "dumb to think that would last", those kind of comments are hard to hear but are true, I was dumb to go along with it. I know that now.
Lessons learned in the teachings of life.
Being honest
Having standards
Know your worth
Don't settle for being an option
Don't settle for scraps of time and attention
Don't take less than you deserve
And if he calls you "hot" - you're an object not a possession.
IF he doesn't value your time, he doesn't value your existence.
If he doesn't want you in his life long term, he only needs you short term.
When he leaves you and doesn't look back, he's only looking forward - without you.
His words have to be followed through with action or they are merely empty words. Not just for today but for - ever.
IF you think he's changed, think again. You're the fool once again.