it's sad when...

When my coworkers ask me questions...questioning the morals, thoughts, actions of the X...it's never an easy answer. It's usually embarrassing or humilitating.

From time time time I hear stories, the "did you know" kind of thing followed by long ummms, eye rolls ans heavy sighs, that look of uncomfort and utter confusion with the statement..."what is he thinking". 

Or the classic, "did you see his post" on whatever social media platform. Which I have to respond, "no I didn't, I'm blocked!" Then the person proceeds to share the post, or show me the post on his or her phone. (As if I have any control or say in it.) 

I explain, I have no say, all I can say, is if you don't like see his posts of really young girls a 50 year old married man shouldn't be looking at...unfollow or unfriend. And if your really offended- report. 

Then it's the big eyed-"I did. But what is he thinking". I respond with a chuckle, "clearly he's not or is ..but not with his brain". "He's a sex addict and obviously he gets a thrill looking at girls the same age as his daughter". "That's his wife's problem".  Simply, walk away with "you can always grow a set and ask him"..."not me."

Sadly, this is very common. Girls exploited for their bodies and worse for sex. To be an object in someone's mind and thoughts. Not only girls, boys too. Children of all ages, preyed upon by sick people. Trafficked, raped, beaten, and killed. 

Does it begin with a picture, a magazine, a post, the internet? One picture or post leads to 3, or 4, then 100s. Hard drives and old computers full of what? Might be more than just music after all. 

Makes me want to vomit..So gross.

fucked around and found out...

That I'm not the women you thought I was? You made me who I am. Who I was- she dead and gone.  I became another version of her. I guess that was the plan all along. I had to go through the processes to grow to be even stronger, wiser, colder, and even more resilient than ever before.  

Because of you-the women your were with while you were with me... the current and all those "nexts", oh take a number honeys,  these women too will be nothing like what or who they were - they will be forever changed by a master manipulator. 

See, here's the thing. While you live in your own unrealistic delusional world, still, as if the known is unknown, well- we all know. They all knew. You just couldn't face it. So on to Next. 

The next women to manipulate, to convince shes the only option, that she'll conveniently provide a fix mixed with your charming I love yous. Convincing her you're doing your best to make her the last priority. Feeding her crumbs affection, compliments,  to keep her lingering.. those fake tears to convince her its real. Scraps of time to keep her hanging on. 

Do they see it? Or are they blinded by that uphoric charm. 

I'll give you this, you did your best at playing with the minds and lives of many women. Thats the only best you did. 

When she asked about me. She knew. She also knew you'd lie, or admit to the very least.  A women who asks about another women studies your actions, already knows there's other women and what your doing. 

She wasn't wrong. 

All women involved were the ones wrong...forever thinking any of it was remotely true, for trusting you, for everything. Women to you are just objects. Souls to fill the holes in yours.